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Bandits

The Tucson Chamber of Commerce should hype the city as a haven for bandits. We love them. The town celebrates the John Dillinger story with enormous reference. So much you’d think he was homegrown.

We are especially fond of Mexican bandits. Like Pancho Villa, arguably the best and grandest public statue in the city. His gang shot and killed gringos in New Mexico, which really pissed off the American government, which couldn’t catch a cold much less a Mexican bandit turned general.. Then out on Silverbell, there’s Joaquin Murrieta Park. Murrieta was a California bandit, a Robin Hood allegedly. It is also alleged that he was the inspiration for Zorro, the greatest of bandits.

Alas, the only true Arizona bandits are today’s Republicans of the Arizona Legislature, which in their collectively infinite stupidity gave us Proposition 123, on which we are to vote in May. This is a plan to finance the state’s education needs for the next 10 years by robbing Peter to pay Paul. Peter in this case is the state land trust and Paul, the state’s under-funded schools. Arizona education is under-financed because the Republicans refuse to abide by the mandate of the Arizona Constitution. So this gaggle of intellectual pygmies banded with the governor to propose that billions be sucked from the trust  over 10 years for schools. At the end of 10 years, the billions apparently disappear. This is a replay of the Ant and the Grasshopper, only the timeframe is different.

It’s nuts. We in Tucson should erect a monument to this robbery caper by the Legislature. I suggest a modest bronze of a pile of horse pucky, maybe next to Pancho Villa’s horse with a suitable plaque.

Meanwhile, we should think about naming a nice park after Richard Nixon. Or George W. Bush. Hard to figure which of the two committed the greater crime.


Why does Ted Cruz want to be president? He hates public lands, national parks, Medicare, Social Security, Obamacare and taxes. If he is elected, one might wonder, would he eliminate all those hateful programs? Or maybe he just wants a few years riding Air Force One? Blind ambition is something to behold.


If you have Amazon Prime, you should watch the fourth episode of Mozart in the Jungle in which Bernadette Peters sings Come On A My House. It is, above all, memorable. The same episode also features Emanuel Ax, Joshua Bell and Lang Lang.


Got this doggie chew toy as a spiff for ordering some doggie meds. Here is what the tag sez:

!Warning: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.

Hey that’s just the thing — carcinogenic chew toys. What will they think of next?

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