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A Darwinian future

Assuming Darwin was right, you have to figure in a thousand years our species will be born with hinged ear lobes with pods attached to a mini electrical  umbilical cord with a stereo plug at the end. No longer will humanity be burdened with having to look for the “L” or the “R.”

Thumbs will be sharper, slimmer and double-jointed for ease of texting. The human larynx will be much smaller as the need for speech will be reduced by increased texting, e-mail and standard gestures. This will, in turn, reduce singers to whispers. This will be a problem solved only by enlarged ears that also accommodate tiny electronic hearing aids for the middle ear, the demand for which was much accelerated by technological advances in sound amplifiers that routinely produce rock and roll and hip hop volumes at around 500 decibels, much to the delight of dope-fiend teenagers.

The adaptability of the species will be such that humans will have the power to turn off hearing aids during the political seasons. Moreover, human brains will similarly grow stupid and idiotic during the election cycle and manage to recoup IQ levels somewhat later when they repent for dumb choices. Scientists will trace the beginning of this particular adaptation back to the American presidential election of 2016.

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