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Good to go? I think not

I am very tired. I am particularly tired of “good to go.” The phrase, not the alleged condition. It is among the words and phrases I seriously unlike. The list waxes and wanes. Certain phrases have been supplanted by others.  “Poster boy” seems to have faded into obscurity joining “shit happens” “23 skiddoo” and “Duesy (doozy)” laying fallow among many others.

“Good to go” should go in the bin. If anything, I’d prefer “hot to trot.” It, at least, has a rhyme although some might argue (persuasively) that it contains a risqué element that seems to have been spawned in the frat houses of the ’60s and ’70s. If “good to go” were gone, I would be a “happy camper,” which is another Econo-Lodge phrase that happily has worked its way into the bin.

I am, as a rule, against capital punishment. But in the case of “Your call is important to us,” I believe execution is appropriate. I would give it the needle in a New York minute, which is ’70s-speak for “quick like a fox.” In any event, I say, Death to the Lie! ¡No pasarán! I say let it die and let us relegate this soulless lie to the flames of hell and eternal damnation.

I am also tired of “pre-owned”? It used to be that the perfectly respectable word “used” was applied articles offered second-hand, particularly in reference to automobiles. Car dealers, I would guess, worked diligently to remove the phrase “used cars” from popular use because of the low status of used car salesmen, who are today, presumably, salesmen (and women) of “pre-owned vehicles” and therefore command more respect from consumers.

Even the word “sale” is no longer used in the auto industry’s erstwhile effort to sell vehicles, aka cars and trucks. Auto makers no longer hold Labor Day sales of cars. They are “events.” The Labor Day event is actually a Labor Day sale in disguise, and one is well-advised to hurry to one’s nearest dealer to take full advantage of the EVENT. I do not think anyone has mistaken the “event” for anything like the 100-yard dash, which has sadly morphed into the 100-meter dash, a depressing sign that Europe and the Euro seek world domination.

It seems that on the positive side of the ledger, “enhance” and “robust” also are fading from the American lexicon. I hope this is so. I have been so vigorously enhanced and robusted that my narrative ear cries repent at the very mention of these two sinfully shabby words.

Conversely, I advocate the return of the ’60s expression “far out.” One may add, “man” to the phrase or, if one is old enough, the word, “daddy-o to inject a ‘’50s flavor.

Which brings me to the “60 Minutes” interview of House Speaker John Boehner (of our political existence) and Senate Majority Menace Mitch McConnell. This was broadcast last Sunday, January 25.

Both these grand hacks of the Grand Old Party acknowledged that the congressional approval amongst Americans is 15 percent. That is, 85 percent of Americans think Congress is substantially less than adequate in the performance. Thus, being a member of Congress is a few stitches below being a salesman of pre-owned vehicles. The 113th Congress (2013-2015) earned a reputation as the most unproductive in history. And while they mumbled suitable sound bites to the contrary, the two leaders are ill-disposed toward change or anything that smacks of President Obama.

The sitting 114th Congress is composed of 301 Republican members, 247 in the House and 54 in the Senate. As a group, it’s paid more than $52.4 million to attend to the nation’s legislative needs, of which there appears to be little. Seems like a lotta dough. In fact, one could say (apologies to Winston Churchill), that never in the history of the republic have so many paid so much to so few to do so little.

Far out, man.

Shit happens.



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