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A cyberitic chat

It can be difficult, dealing with the cyberitic (if sybaritic, then why not cyberitic?) world.

I received this week a warning that Comcast’s servers had been hacked, and I should therefore change my password. I am grateful to my brain that I can remember my password, life being thusly iffy when you reach a certain age.

So I ventured to Comcast’s cyberitic place.

I notified the place that I should like to change my password. The place did not object, but it replied that I had to answer a question, a matter of security, the only way of proving who I allegedly am: “What is your favorite beverage?”  I believe this question was once upon a time posed to me to be used in case I did not seem to be who I am, and would therefore answer the question correctly, proving I was who I said I am and not an imposter. I answered, I suppose, accordingly. It was many years ago when I did this.

It now occurs to me that my favorite beverage lo those many years ago might have been bourbon. I cannot remember what I put as my favorite beverage those many years ago. I do not like the word “beverage.” It does not sound liquid, but rather like a condition, as in one might be in an advanced state of beverage, possibly of excessive belching.

But I digress. I tried “water.” This answer was not acceptable. Nor was “juice.” Or “vodka.” I tried others and eventually concluded that this was a futile cyberitic business. I saw a button that invited me to chat online with Comcast. This was help in the offing, just what I needed. A little help from my friends.

I clicked the button. A box appeared in which I was asked to describe the problem. Early on in life I ran across the axiom that “a problem well defined is a problem half solved.” Having tried over many years to implement this tidbit of wisdom, I discovered it was bullshit.

Nevertheless, I believe I described the problem as succinctly as possible. What follows is a transcript of my “chat.” I swear that the following is a relatively accurate replication of the transcript, which I have presented in italics because I like italics because they look fancy. (The arrows {>} are as they appeared in the chat transcript.)

Chat ID: 756C25AF-2B05-49BF-82D9-AFA881690AFF

Problem: Can’t remember answer to security question. Am I supposed to change my password or what?

Sukhraj> Hello STEPHEN & EDITH. Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Sukhraj. Please give me a moment to review your information.

STEPHEN & EDITH > My issue. Can’t remember answer to a security question. Am I supposed to change my password or what?

Sukhraj> My pleasure to have you on this chat!

Sukhraj> I understand that you want to access your Comcast account and need yur login information, am I correct?

Sukhraj> Please provide me the username you need a password reset for and also if you use it primarily for account management or email?

Sukhraj> Stephe,m Meanwhile, let me tell you about our Comcast Guarantee, we are available to answer your questions at your convenience, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week either online or email.

Sukhraj>To better assist you, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Sukhraj> To protect your account I will need to verify some additional information. Would you please provide me with the last 4 digits of your social security number?

STEPHEN & EDITH > Look, we got an email saying we should change our passwrd because of an enormous security breach. Is that true or what?

Sukhraj> After some time you have to change your password just for your account security.

Sukhraj> So that nobody can hack your account.

STEPHEN & EDITH > Doesn’t answer the question.

Sukhraj> Once you ae able to login, you can change the Password/secret question under “User and Preferences” tab.

Sukhraj> May I know that are you able to login your Comcast account with your current user name and password?

STEPHEN & EDITH > Do you think you actually could anser yes or no tothe question? Has there been a security breach, just a yes or no will do.

Sukhraj> It is no true.

Sukhraj> Password reset up to you.

STEPHEN & EDITH > Thanks. I really cannot remember what my favorite beverage is. I prolly answered that question 13 years ago. Shall I keep trying because I really don’t want to give you numbers and stuff because who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

Sukhraj> May I know that are you able to login your Comcast account with your current user name and password?

STEPHEN & EDITH > I am indeed, and I must say have been able to do so happily for many years. I’D RATHER NOT CHANGE.

Sukhraj> Your account is fully secured with Comcast.

Sukhraj> I hope you understand due to customer account security is Comcast top most policy.

STEPHEN & EDITH > Many thanks. Have a nice day.







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