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Archives for April 2015

Arpaio: Slipping through the cracks

There’s a serious epidemic of schadenfreude that has put a smile on some of Maricopa County. I refer to Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s contempt of court hearing, which made its federal court debut last week. It has greatly embarrassed Sheriff Joe, makes him out to be a lawless lawman and certainly has him by the short tonsils.

Arpaio stands accused of violating federal Judge G. Murray Snow’s 2012 order to cease the sheriff’s standard practice of racial profiling. Arpaio and his henchmen already have admitted to violating the judge’s order. Now the issue is whether the sheriff’ intended to violate the order.

Arpaio has been elected sheriff in Maricopa County six times. He has humiliated prisoners, fed them nearly inedible food and housed them in tents under the Arizona sun. He has sucked every ounce of publicity in so doing. His hubris is unequaled in law enforcement past or present.

So the reason that he broke the law, defied a federal court order? Here is his statement as it appeared in the Arizona Republic:

“I’ve been a top federal official for 22 years. I have a deep respect for the courts, federal courts and federal judges. I didn’t know all the facts of this court order, and it really hurts me that after 55 years … to be in this position. So I want to apologize to the judge that I should have known more … This court order slipped through the cracks.”

Do not doubt that some will believe Arpaio did not know the gun was loaded. But they ought to be in the minority, particularly when Arpaio admitted hiring a private dick to investigate comments by Judge Snow’s wife. Arpaio reign has been an exercise in constant arrogance. Wonder if Maricopa County voters can figure that out, or instead Arpaio will be reelected in two years to a 7th term. Arpaio’s hubris knows no boundaries, but apparently neither does his voter appeal.

So however much you might enjoy watching Sheriff Jo squirm and the how the warmth of schadenfreude envelopes you, never underestimate the appeal of pink underwear.


A good thing, governor

As we have been half-nasty about the new governor’s budget and other unpleasant actions, we must admit that his positive stance on gay couples adopting children is admirable.


Gov. Ducey could even make things better by voting to allow “Dreamers,” undocumented immigrants, to attend the state’s universities at a reduced cost — 50 percent more than in-state tuition. This is a Board of Regents proposal, and the governor is a regent. This is a hefty sum — $17k at some schools — but much less than out-of-state cost.

The bad smell

There is a great deal of criticism of the Republican leadership of the Arizona House over the multi-million dollar renovations of its digs, particularly the showers.

But let’s be charitable. After all the filthy, vile and putrid work of cutting university budgets and sticking it to the counties, the House Republicans certainly NEED showers.


The burst of Palo Verde blossoms is absolutely stunning along River Road between Swan and Craycroft. It is an amazing year — like no other in my memory. After a couple weeks, they’re beginning to fade.




Regarding this $800 million capital bond issue being proposed by Pima
County guvment and reported in today’s Star: $160 of this capital is supposedly to repair roads. I have but a fleeting notion of finance, but “repair” is normally classified as a maintenance item, which is an expense as opposed to a capital investment. Accountants scream like maniacal banshees when you mix maintenance expense with capital investment. You’re not allowed to used debt to finance expenses. Believe me when they scream, they’re loud. This is basic Accounting 101. Why then are the banshees imitating church mice when it comes to this bond issue?


Any one noticed that the Star’ editorial page has shrunk by a half page? There’s no pretense to editorials — as those reprinted from Bloomberg and the Washington Post. The Star runs columnists in that space and has relegated the half page space for advertising.


Department of cutsey-stupid newspaper leads:

By Zack Rosenblatt, Arizona Daily Star

April 19, 2015

 “We’re not so different, you and I.”

It’s a line uttered by Dr. Evil in the first “Austin Powers” movie.

It’s probably how Bobby Hurley’s first conversation with Sean Miller will go, too.

Kidding, of course, but it’s true — Hurley and Miller are not so different ….

Such a kidder. Who’s the evil one?


Dear guv doogie:

Why do you want 200,000 Arizonans to lose their health insurance. Have you no soul?


Dr. Kildare


Greetings guv doogie:

Congratulations on your RV tour. Apparently you call it the “Opportunity Express.”

“I’m proud of the work we’ve done and the path forward we’re paving to a better Arizona,” you say. We don’t see a whole lot of forward motion in your reign so far. You’re about as backward and regressive as a corn cob in the outhouse.

What on earth can you possibly be proud of? Often opportunity depends on how much you can afford to pay for a university education. In that sense, seems like your RV would be more accurately named the Screwmobile.


Slats Grobnik


Paper or plastic governor?

Dear Guv Doogie:

Thank you for signing the bill that bans Arizona cities from banning plastic bags. It’s a bad thing to let people decide what they want. Because you really know your bags and people don’t know Diddley. Have you been to Sasabe? There’s a forest of plastic bags there as far as the eye can see. It would make your day.

Your friend in filth,


Tuition stupid

Dear Guv Doogie:

Next year tuition at the UA will rise to about $11,400. About a $500 increase because of you, your backward thinking and the $99 million cut in the universities budgets.

Next year tuition at the University of Florida will be $6,310.

Arizona used to be compared to Mississippi because we were usually as stupid as they were in funding education. This year Ole Miss is charging $7,100 in tuition. Even the University of Texas charges less — $9,798.

Just thought you’d like to know some state universities haven’t privatized just yet. But we are on the way. The budget for the universities is $667 million decreased from $768 million. The budget for the prison system is $1.3 billion, increased from $997 million.

You do love your prisons, don’t you.

Very Truly Yours,

John Dewey

Dear Guv

Dear Guv Doogie:

I’d like youse to know that I am a helicopter company and need to stop paying taxes. I notice you said two other companies dint have to pay no tax so I figure you should do the same for me and mine.

Your best pal,

Al Capone, presidint

Al Capone Choppers

PS Way to go sticking’ it to the universities. Get the state out of the university bidness. It doan pay.